2021 Holiday Shopping Lists, the Single Malts: Aberlour A’bunadh

We’re in the home stretch of the holiday hit list, and what better way to close out than with the OG form of whisky: single malt. This elevator goes down to the Ninth Circle, and I’m mashing that DOWN button until my thumb bleeds. We’re in the endgame now.

In a 2006 episode of “Metalocalypse,” the band Dethklok decides to create the heaviest, most metal album ever recorded. The product of this mission was the Dethwater album, which due to the fact it was so metal, and so heavy, it could only safely be listened to by fish. When faced with the choice of literally watering the album down or releasing a multimillion dollar project only for the listening of aquatic wildlife, the band makes the right choice.

A’bunadh is Dethwater.

The more I drink this the more I conclude it was designed to be consumed by 1) Lovecraftian eldritch Great Ones who slumber in the depths of the cold oceans, and 2) Scottish people, which really are just terrestrial versions of category 1.

This is a thrown gauntlet, this is liquid sunlight, this is imbibing the Old Blood. It is uncut, first-fill Oloroso cask single malt drawn from barrels ranging in age of 5-25 years old, and it is an avalanche of dark chocolate, black currant, plum, black cherry, and fresh cinnamon. I unilaterally anoint it the Best Unpeated Malt Whisky humans ever put in a bottle.

If you have a scotch lover (or any whisky lover) you’re shopping for, this is worth every penny and then some of its $100 USD price. It is a splurge buy that is a gateway to unicorns made out of diamond crapping rainbows in your brain. This is a bottle that resets what you imagine a whisky can do and be. I know many single malt fans who give fancy Macallan bottles this time of year because people know the name, but they buy the Aberlour for themselves.

My advice: buy the ticket, take the ride.

Image courtesy of Jon who also writes on Low Class & High Proof.

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I learned how to make cocktails watching Danger 5